Starvation

I couldn't look my priest in the eye
When I kneeled at the altar rail
I couldn't sing Hymn 400
Because it exalts God so well
It is too beautiful for me right now
I had a cross in my throat
Because I am a wretch who is saved

The sanctuary in Spring
is the most beautiful building in town
with all the wood beams and wall of windows
and hand carvings
and new farm for people without food
Many people said hello
there's a new Deaconess with a German accent
the stations of the cross
have collected no dust
the holy water is clear
in the granite chalices

I have made many mistakes
I have rebelled, over and over
taken many things for granted
used others, been used
been led to anger
been seduced, tripped, hated and confused
My path has had many narrow bridges
and cloaked sinkholes
I have encountered vipers and demons
I've been lost in the desert
frantic for the North star
desperate for my home

I'm so thankful
that somewhere along the way
I learned how to kneel
because in times like these
I can only return to my knees
to the water and the wine
and in the end of my flight
all manner of spells
even the ones I cast on myself
are broken
nothing is stronger 
than the sacrifice
the body
the Word
the resurrection

God knits
and knits
and breaks
and burns
and cleanses
with fire and blood
every single time
I crawl
back Home.