So Fuguckin Good

This weekend

I received the final notice of my marriage dissolution

it is so ordered, it said with a judge's signature in blue ink

the finality of the document

was like walking outside after being stuck in the DMV for over a year

air is so good  

and we raise our faces to the sun

to soak in the simple things 

we always take for granted

when we aren't trapped in a place

Then I sold everything

or nearly everything

the things I really want to keep either

do things I need done

or are small and printed

or are stored in the data farms

or are worn full of holes and smell like my armpits

oh,

and my twenty-five best records

I kept those too

Thank God

I almost didn't and that would have been 

a huge mistake

So everything happened this weekend

all the weight was shed

and now unfettered joy is possible again

I can feel it, the potential of really cracking up often

like the joy of a smiling dog

they are the masters of joy, when they feel it

their eyes say nothing else

like a boy who sees his father for the first time in a long time

I went to the creek with my beautiful woman

who understands all the things I say 

and who will never trade her leisure for money

or her health for worry

so she has abundance in all ways

and I've been learning a lot from her

It was time for us to relax 

so we went to the creek bank in the sun

and opened a Picante Chelada

by Budweiser

the King of Beers

The beer was cold 

mixed with Clamato and lime

a little bit spicy

salty with a hint of sweetness

and the umami of industrial food science

it was the perfect way to end my day

the day I got to say a final goodbye

to everything that failed me

or that I failed 

or both

Going to the creek I grew up next to

the creek that always moves with its ancient mind

no matter who loves it or who throws trash into it 

walking barefoot in the frigid, swollen creek

was the perfect way for me to celebrate

The Chelada was so good 

that after chugging some

I reclined on the dirty creek blanket

next to my beautiful woman who had some 

small bark pieces

stuck to her powerful thighs

I became so relaxed 

next to her, under the sun,

with the creek babbles and 

wild ducks quacking in love on the opposite bank

I became so relaxed that my words

flopped around in my mouth

because what I really wanted to say

was unspeakable

Instead I said

This is so fuguckin good

Sadie Rose knows